Leave a Question (or two)
And I’ll try to respond to it. . . Thanks.
(Questions about Thai language, cross-cultural relationship concerning Thai women in general. And I’ll offer one Thai woman’s perspective – for what it’s worth. 
Special note for those asking Dear Abby type of questions, I likely will not answer specific personal relationships questions since I am not a trained relationship counselor and cannot get into specifics in your relationship. I am only willing and able to offer general information or observations regarding relationships.
On Thai language, a specific question will lead to specific answer.)
Kaewmala,
Thank you for opening up questions. It is sure to be a useful addition (especially for those of us muddling our way through).
Some time ago, I kiddingly called a Thai friend a toy boy. His English is good but does not cover all slang, so my other friend (female) tried to explain.
In the west, toy boy is a playful word. But she could not come up with an equally fun Thai equivalent.
The conversation then went on to gigolo’s, made popular in the movie – The American Gigolo. Again, the Thai word produced did not reflect the lighter western meaning.
After that, mistress. Ditto.
In Thailand, all three came down to a derogatory translation – prostitute.
In any strict society (for instance, the American Bible Belt), all three of those would be looked down on. But Thailand is like any other country, with layers of classes piled up and crossing back and forth.
So my question is this… does Thailand have more relaxed, fun descriptions than prostitute?
Note: I won’t put them in Thai as I’m not 100% sure which translations she came up with as she whispered each one
Thanks for your question, Cat. I’ve answered it here: http://is.gd/9wnfb.
Just saw your post on ThaiVisa.com, read your very interesting interview, immediately signed on as a subscriber, and am on my way to purchase your book.
First I have one question for you (sparked by the interview): I have had two long-term relationships (two and three years each) with Thai women and several not so long. None of the women ever asked about my previous life experiences–except for information related to past marriages, children and country of origin.
I can interpret such omissions as being disinterest in me as a person or–perhaps a better explanation–a lack of curiosity about anything beyond Thailand or anything that did not have an immediate or direct influence on them. Even while in the process of asking them about their childhood, their views, their experiences, they did not reciprocate. And I don’t understand why they would not have taken advantage of the opportunity to learn more about my life in my country and the outside world in general.
I guess I did not actually ask a question, but it is implicit in my comments.
Any insight?
Paul, thanks for you question. I’ve answered it here: http://is.gd/9Bfw4.
Hi,
I wanted to ask you about the issue of financial support.
There is much discussion about sending money (mainly amongst foreign men sending to Thai women).
Some say they would never do it and seem happy that they have a relationship with someone who doesn’t ask for it or need it.
Others who are happy to help out where they can and still more who seem to send thousands and thousands of Baht every month and then complain that their partners are ‘moneygrabbers’
I know my girlfriends family all send their mum (she had 12 children in all) a little every month when they can, I send some to help supplement her income, sometimes adding a little for mum too.
She tells me of friends who have foreign partners that send anything up to 70,000 baht every month!
How has this come about? Is it really a traditional thing for a man to give his wife or girlfriend money every month?
Or are we all being tricked into a ‘rent-a-wife’ scheme?
I have to say it’s not really a problem for me, circumstances have led us to our present arrangement and everybody is much better off because of it.
I just wondered if you could give your views on the whole ‘sponsorship’ phenomenon.
From a cultural point of view I can see why some western people would regard this kind of arrangement as …hmmm not sure quite how to phrase this…maybe a little sordid?
Realistically it’s no different to what goes on in many relationships, splitting the bills, arranging the finances, is all pretty normal but it seems to be a lot more emotive when it’s a Thai-Farang relationship for some reason.
bifftastic, thanks much for a very good question. I’ll get to answer it in a couple of days.
This is quite terrible of me. Sorry, bifftastic for the long delay in answering your question. I will get to this soon (can’t say how many days). As you can see the political situation has really zapped any romantic zeal out of me.
>>answered here: http://thaiwomantalks.com/2010/05/10/thai-women-and-the-question-of%C2%A0money/
Hi Kaewmala,
I had a 4 year relationship with a Thai Girl who worked long hours (up to 14 hrs everyday) in a Massage school training the blind in the mornings and massaging clients at the same place in the afternoon where I met her .Took me a long time to get to know her and the more I did the more I liked her apart from a wierd negative self destructive suicidal side to her which would pop up every now and again especially when after several weeks of things were going very well between us(this trait only surfaced after being together several times).
she lived with me for a period of 3 to 4 months at a time and got very ill and nearly died the last time, through all this time I took very good care of her and did all the nursing I could for her and picking up the tab for all i could not.I then have to come back to my home country after spending 2.5 years with her over the 4 years and then by text meassage she says she is no longer in love with me and says she is not good enough for me.
A mutaul friend of both of us (Thai female) has done some checking up on her and found she is now living with a farang who owns a travel shop in Pattaya and works there in the front office as she speaks a few languages (learnt a t the massage place) is petite ,has a shy demeanour is exceptionally pleasing on the eye and her voice is a delight to hear.
The mutual friend has even checked the phone of my ex ( abit naughty I know!) and sent me after transferring by bluetooth both messages and photo’s of her .One she sent to her sister was the one that hit me was that she said she loved me like no other and I made her so happy it made her cry sometimes BUT she couldn’t stay with me as it would always remind her that she nearly died and she would never be sure that I stayed with her out of love or out of pity and she wanted to erase this period and could not do so if still with me.
I was stunned by her message to me and nearly dropped everything and went back but common sense prevailed and I asked the mutual friend what to do as she is 100% trust worthy.
is what the Ex has done just a female bury the past thing or is it something that Thai females do.
She never asked me for money or anything and was always so happy when I brought her little things like if out late watching my football team at the bar with a huge telly and on the way back to the condo I would pass a shop that was open 24/7 and buy her a 200Tbht or so of school materials for her english classes and put them in her bag while she slept.
Look forward to hearing your reply.
Hello
I work at a remote radar station in alaska and work with a thai women whom I have fallen in love with. She says she loves me too but remains very discreet with her feelings. I just want to make her happy and have to overcome some personal obstacules before we can get married. I am head over heals in love with her. Her number one priority is taking care of her family (mother, sisters) in thailand, not me. am I being too selfish?
Hi Kaewmala,
Two questions from me (today):
1. Is there a Thai equivalent of the English language idiom ‘you don’t use a sledgehammer to crack a nut’ – as in you don’t use unnecessary force when something lighter will do the trick?
2. I’m interested in your response to Catherine’s question of 1 March 2010 above regarding ‘toy boys’, but the link appears to be broken. Can you re-direct me to your answer?
Many thanks and warmest wishes,
Angela
Hi Angela,
Thanks for your questions.
1) The closest equivalent for ‘you don’t use a sledgehammer to crack a nut’ that I can think of is: ขี่ช้างจับตั๊กแตน /khii cháang jàp ták-kà-tEEn/ lit. “ride an elephant to catch a grasshopper.”
2) The blog post on toy boy is here: http://thaiwomantalks.com/2010/03/01/how-to-say-%E2%80%9Ctoy-boy%E2%80%9D-%E2%80%9Ctoy-girl%E2%80%9D-in-thai/
Cheers,
Kaewmala, thanks so much for your reply. I love the Thai idiom about ‘(not) riding an elephant to catch a grasshopper’ – it’s perfect for what I have in mind. Needless to say, I will acknowledge your assistance in my next novel.
The ‘toy boy’ stuff is interesting, too. I have some half-formed thoughts about how language can either control or conceal socially unacceptable behaviours…but that’s for another time.
Here’s wishing you a Happy Thai New Year 2554 (if my calculations are correct). We are looking forward to celebrating Songkran in Krabi next week.
Cheers,
Angela
Hi Kaewmala,
Another couple of questions from me.
1) Is there a Thai equivalent of the English language idiom ‘to kill two birds with one stone’?
2) What about ‘bigger fish to fry’–as in having something more important to do?
Thanks as always for any help you can provide,
Angela
how do you say truth in thai?
@ KaSandraLynnLong
truth is ‘kwaam jing’
The ‘j’ sound, sometimes has something of a ‘ch’ or a ‘tsch’ to it,depending on where in the country you are
Sorry, I left my Thai keyboard in Thailand so I can’t type the Thai script for you!
You can add the pre-fix ‘kwaam’ to words like ‘roo’ (know) ‘suk’ (happy) ‘jing’ (real/really) to get the equivalent of knowledge (kwaam roo) happiness (kwaam suk) and truth (kwaam jing) I’m sure there are others that don’t spring to mind just now.
Hope this helps.
Biff