“Play” in Thai Idioms – Part 3: Erotic Play

Posted on July 21, 2010 by kaewmala| 5 Comments

คำว่า “เล่น” ในสำนวนไทย – ตอนที่ ๓: เล่นรัก

So now we’ve come to the last part of the Thai “play” series – a part which I intentionally saved for last, knowing some of you were waiting for it. ;)

Old “Naughty” Play

Women who Love Women

เล่นเพื่อน "play pals" - A scene from Wat Kongkaram mural, Ratchburi – source: ภาพพูด For Eyes That See โดย อู่ทอง ประศาสน์วินิจฉัย

When Thais talk of “naughty” play from the past one of the words that almost instantly comes to mind is เล่นเพื่อน /lên phûeaan/ (lit. “play pals”). (No, there’s no typo – it’s not “PayPal.”) The Thai “pay pals” is an old idiom meaning “to have a lesbian affair.”

The sub-culture of เล่นเพื่อน /lên phûeaan/ has long been a subject of interest. I guess girls playing naughty have always been a favorite fetish for voyeurs – even those disguised as academics. ;) Books, book chapters, journal and magazine articles that studiously investigate the “historical tradition” of “playing pals” often associate it with the society of court ladies. That court ladies were known to engage in lesbian affairs is known the world over, found in all cultures where there were harems. Thai court ladies were no exception.

If you are interested in stories about lesbianism involving lovely Thai court ladies, see this article [in Thai] which shares such a story with a literary slant. This article discusses a comic poem by a court lady during Rama III reign who gave an insider’s view into the court ladies’ romantic drama. The said court lady was คุณสุวรรณ Khun Suwan who was one of the few well known Thai female poets. (What was special about her was that she had not only a huge literary talent, but also a wicked sense of humor.) Another blog article [in Thai] also tells a story involving a Chiang Mai princess in a love triangle with two other court ladies during Rama V reign. This one was tragic, plot developing and ending in the TV Channel 7 soap opera style. Only there were just นางเอก /naang èk/ (heroines) and no พระเอก /prá èk/ (heroes).

Back to the origin of “play pals” tradition. Well known court ladies’ romantic dramas notwithstanding, if เล่นเพื่อน /lên phûeaan/ had been restricted to the society of court ladies, there wouldn’t be the tradition of ทอม-ดี้ /tom-dii/ or หญิงรักหญิง /yǐng rák yǐng/ (lesbianism ; “women who love women”) in today’s Thailand, would it? In other words, lesbianism, the way I see it, is unlikely to have been merely a lifestyle of aristocrats in the old days, but an equal opportunity love tradition that women from all classes participated (if they had been so inclined). Just that few Thai literature covered the lives of ordinary folks (though I believe there are mentions of such relationships here and there in some literature – but one would have to look harder for those).

Men who Love Boys

Another old Thai tradition that involves sex and play is also a same-sex relationship that reminds one of the ancient Greek tradition of pederasty paiderastia meaning “love of children” or “love of boys”). In Thai the word is เล่นสวาท /lên sà-wàat/ (lit. “play love”), although the love is specific to boys. This old term means “to raise a boy to become [a man’s] own lover”, i.e. a tradition of “grooming” a “toy boy” or “boy toy”. The (toy)boy/sex slave raised or groomed by a man who เล่นสวาท /lên sà-wàat/ is called ลูกสวาท /lûuk sà-wàat/ (lit. “love child”). (which is derived from the Greek word

Obviously since sexual relations with underage children (male or female) have been made illegal, this tradition in its fullest form is no longer commonly practiced today. Likewise the term has fallen out of use, but the modern version of practice has been improvised. Sex with (male) children still happens in Thailand – as frequent news about arrests of pedophiles would indicate. Today’s version of “play love” เล่นสวาท /lên sà-wàat/ is more likely to be commercial and short-term arrangement.

(Anyone interested in another old (pedophilic) Thai tradition of grooming future husband/wife called เลี้ยงต้อย /líiang tÔOy/) or Thai terms for “toy boy” and “toy girl” see an article I wrote some months ago on that subject here.

“Play Fingering” – An Innocent Child Play Turned Naughty

Thai child play - เล่นจ้ำจี้ “play fingering and pointing”

เล่นจ้ำจี้ “play fingering and pointing” - source: baanmaha.com

An innocent child play is as seen in the picture on the left. It’s called เล่นจ้ำจี้ /lên jâm jîi/ lit. “play fingering and pointing.” The game is played along with the group singing, which is essential to the game. This website gives a concise game rules and the song lyrics [in Thai].

That is the innocent “fingering play” version. The not-so-innocent version, though using the same expression เล่นจ้ำจี้ /lên jâm jîi/, can perhaps be literally translated as “play hanky-panky.” Need I say more? But in case one needs some visual aid, here’s a page where a couple was described as เล่นจ้ำจี้. Half of the couple happened to be the famous Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon star, Zhang Zi Yi. In this case, the couple was “playing hanky-panky” in public (not at all approved of in Thai culture). Given public display of intimacy (especially the erotic kind) is still generally frowned upon, Thais like to engage in such a “play” in private.

Contemporary “Naughty” Play

Thai erotic play

เล่นรัก “play love” - A scene from Wat Phra Singh mural, Chiang Mai

The picture on the left is admittedly shows “naughty play” from yesteryears (recorded on a temple mural at that). I use a small segment of this temple mural because I think it represents quite appropriately the sentiment of “play love” เล่นรัก /lên rák/ – at least in my perception of the word. I can’t say whether this expression was used in the old days but I’d guess most probably. So I reckon was its synonym เล่นกาม /lên kaam/ lit. “play lust.” These two expressions involve typically a man and a woman in a romantic or erotic relationship but there’s nothing preventing them from being used in same-sex relationship as well.

Needless to say the tradition of “naughty play” in Thai culture and language lives on and thrives with creativity and diversity made possible by import and exchanges of erotic ideas and technologies. Yet, the two expressions above are still widely used today. Don’t believe me? Try googling it.

But the real 21st century lingo is probably เล่นเสียว /lên sǐaw/ lit. “play thrill”, meaning  more or less the same as the last three expressions: “to have sex” or “to fornicate.” But this slang term’s got more of a titillating quality to it – (เสียว /sǐaw/ = (sexually) thrilled).

Another modern erotic play term is เล่นเซ็กส์ /lên sék/ lit. “play sex” – replacing the Thai words รัก /rák/ (love) and กาม /kaam/ (carnal lust) with the imported English term “sex”, hence making this new expression a Thai-farang hybrid. In the past 10-15 years or so the word “sex” has become part of the Thai lexicon – somehow I think using a foreign word tones down the directness and makes it less “crude” to talk of, well, sex, but it also makes it seem more urbane.

เล่นเซ็กส์โฟน “play phone sex” – source: talkystory.com

Here comes the technology part – เล่นเซ็กส์โฟน /lên sék foon/ lit. “play phone sex.” I suppose, like in English this “play” involves both the kind that you pay for and the kind that you don’t. Note the word order: the Thai expression translates in the exact order as “play sex phone.” Thai word ordering in imported English terms are common.

Now, this is an old sexual play that gets a (presumably) modern slang: (vulgarity alert) เล่นตูด /lên tùut/ lit. “play anus.” If you google the Thai term [assuming you can read Thai], you’ll see that it applies to both opposite-sex and same-sex, uh, sex.

Adulterous/Casual Play

Then there’s a kind of sexual play with an illegitimate, unsanctioned partner – adulterous play. The play that involves cheating on a spouse/lover is called เล่นชู้ /lên chúu/ lit. “play lover” – also คบชู้ /khóp chúu/ lit. “consort with a lover” or มีชู้ /mii chúu/ lit. “have a lover.” One interesting thing about the Thai word ชู้ /chúu/ is that in the old days it actually meant “lover” in a legitimate and positive sense (seen in old classical literature) but over time the original meaning has faded and turned negative. Now the word only means a “lover” in an extra-marital affair or outside of a committed relationship.

Sometimes an adulterous play involves a “plaything” or two: ของเล่น /khǑng lên/ lit. “plaything” or “toy.” But these playthings are the human kind, not children’s toys. The two-legged ของเล่น /khǑng lên/ is played by an adult male or female (married or otherwise) in a casual affair. Once bored with, the player discards the “toy.”

Flirtatious Play

Thai erotic play isn’t limited to just the bedroom, of course. Even before love blossoms and sex is in the offing, there is usually a play of flirtation – well, at least by the coquettish type.

Flirtation is a playful art, and part of such an art involves use of the eyes: เล่นตา /lên taa/ lit. “play eyes,” which means “make (amorous/flirtatious) eyes.” Such a play is also described by the longer (possibly stronger) version of the act: เล่นหูเล่นตา /lên hǔu lên taa/ lit. “play ears, play eyes,” which, mind you, doesn’t mean that the player wiggles the ears as well, but the double emphasis conveys the intensity of the “come-hither” playful flirtation (with some disapproval).

Another play that is often employed in the flirtation or courtship stage is เล่นตัว /lên tua/ lit. “play body.” No, this is not anatomical sort of play. Rather it means “play hard to get.”

I’m pretty sure that some “erotic plays” have slipped through my fingers. If you know what I’ve missed, please let me know. Thanks.  :)

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Posted in General Thai Vocabulary, Thai Idioms & Proverbs, Thai Slang

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“Play” in Thai Idioms – Part 2: Bad & Dangerous Play

Posted on June 17, 2010 by kaewmala| 6 Comments

คำว่า “เล่น” ในสำนวนไทย – ตอนที่ ๒: เล่นร้าย เล่นอันตราย

I have shown you the nice and fun side of “Thai play.” Now in Part 2, let’s have a look at the bad, tricky, silly, crazy, dangerous, scary, and superstitious side.

bad - scary play

Bad Play

There are many kinds of bad play and playing without honesty is among the first of obviously bad plays.

เล่นไม่ซื่อ /lên mâi sûue/ (lit. “play crooked”) =  to cheat, deceive, betray, double-cross

Someone who “play crooked” is someone who, as the word “crooked” suggests, doesn’t play straight, possibly has some murky motive and is prepared to cheat (โกง /koong/) or betray (ทรยศ /thOOr-rá-yót/ or หักหลัง /hàk lǎng/) another when an opportunity arises.

Another kind of bad play that is devoid of veracity and integrity is a dirty one:

เล่นสกปรก /lên sòk-kà-pròk/ = lit. “play dirty”

There’s no need to elaborate on this one. A synonymous vernacular of Thai dirty play is “play dogs.”

เล่นหมาๆ

เล่นหมาๆ "play dogs"? Me? No way!

Of course, dogs have nothing to do with this “dog play.” It’s just the usual (Thai) human way of pointing fingers at anyone but themselves – and dogs are the nearest and most convenient animal to point fingers at. ;)

เล่นหมาๆ /lên mǎa mǎa/ (lit. “play dogs”, vulgar) = to play low, play dirty

Given that humans have (often unjustifiably) high opinion of themselves, to “play dogs” is to “play low and dirty”, play outside the rules or decency – beyond the pale, so to speak.

The last play in this category is not so much bad play, though it’s not particularly good either. I put it here because nobody likes this kind of play – well, who likes a hard ball, especially when being thrown one?

เล่นแรง /len rEEng/ (lit. “play hard”) = to play hard ball

Generally, “play hard” or เล่นแรง has to do with “playing rough and tough” or “hard-hitting criticism.” So, you can see why Thai people would most likely consider it a “bad play.”

Tricky Play

No one likes trickery, Thais included. These are tricky plays that Thais find unpalatable (especially if they are on the receiving end, that is).

เล่นลูกไม้ /lên lûuk-máay/ (lit. “play fruit”) = to play trick, play strategy

Yes, I know, this one needs further explanation. The word ลูกไม้ /lûuk-máay/ in its most literal sense means “fruit,” like in this proverb:

ลูกไม้หล่นไม่ไกลต้น

ลูกไม้หล่นไม่ไกลต้น "An apple doesn't fall far from the tree"

ลูกไม้หล่นไม่ไกลต้น /lûuk-máay lòn mâi klai tôn/ (lit. “A fruit doesn’t fall far away from the tree”), which has an almost exact English equivalent in “An apple doesn’t fall far away from the tree.” Like father like son. Like mother like daughter. Off-spring can be expected to inherit the traits of the parents.

If you open a Thai-English dictionary, you’ll see that the word ลูกไม้ /lûuk-máay/ means trickery, stratagem, finesses, wile, or artifice. เล่นลูกไม้ /lên lûuk-máay/ often has something to do with use of either little tricks or cunning, or something bigger and more cerebral like a strategy – often not openly revealed. For example, Thais might say มันจะมาลูกไม้ไหนกันแน่ when wondering what kind of trick or game someone, often an opponent, is up to. However, note that the ลูกไม้ /lûuk-máay/ (trickery, stratagem) itself may not necessary be bad or evil (in the Thai sense), although it is likely not seen as the most ethical kind of play.

There are of course more plays that will not pass most ethical tests – such as:

เล่นตุกติก /lên tùk tìk/ (lit. “play tricky”) = to use tricks or cunning to cheat

Usually this kind of play is done when parties are in a deal or some kind of agreement, and one party (or both) may use tricks or cunning to cheat or to break or circumvent an agreement. This is synonymous with “play crooked” above (as bad plays often involve trickery and dishonesty).

Another tricky play is called เล่นแง่ /lên ngÊE/ which literally reads” “play angle.” This tricky play, like เล่นตุกติก, is often done in the process of deal making, though it may also be employed in personal relationships.

เล่นแง่ /lên ngÊE/ (lit. “play angle”) = to play game/trick, to haggle to set own terms or conditions

The last play in this category actually should be in a category of its own, but I’ll keep it here. It’s a play that involves perhaps less trickery than unfairness. It’s a kind of play that is very prevalent in Thai society (in Asian societies in general), where connections are important in any deal and any kind of advancement in life or in business. I present to you “play crony,” i.e. “cronyism” as we know in English.

เล่นพรรคเล่นพวก /lên phák lên phûaak/ = lit. “play crony”

also เล่นพวกพ้อง /lên phûaak phÔOng/; เล่นพวก /lên phûaak/

Silly & Crazy Play

Some plays aren’t really bad or tricky but rather silly or crazy.  For instance, to “play store” or เล่นขายของ /lên khǎay khǑOng/ means to “do things without due seriousness or real competence” as if in silly child play. When kids play, it’s cute but when adults play like kids it’s not only unbecoming but can also be irresponsible, like when government comes up with a policy or initiative and proceeds to act on it like kids playing store.

เล่นขายของ /lên khǎay khǑOng/ = lit. “play store”

And there are silly-crazy or “prankish” plays, which aspiring clowns, joksters and pranksters like to play. In Thai are they are described as:

เล่นบ้าๆ /lên bâa-bâa/ (lit. “play crazy”) = to play a prank

เล่นพิเรนทร์ /lên phí-reen/ (lit. “play strange”) = to play a prank

เล่นพิเรนทร์

เล่นบ้าๆ เล่นพิเรนทร์ "play crazy. "play strange"

The aspiring clown (not the real clown like Krusty on the right), jokester or prankster is called คนพิเรนทร์ /khon phí-reen/.

The last play in this category could be somewhat prankish, though in matter of seriousness may not be so funny. But it is called “play funny.”

เล่นตลก /lên tà-lòk/ (lit. “play funny”) = to play a hoax or a sham, or to “pull a leg”

Dangerous Play

เล่นกับไฟ

เล่นกับไฟ "play with fire"

Among the most dangerous and most destructive plays in any culture is “play with fire.” And there is such an expression in Thai too, carrying the same meaning as in English.

เล่นกับไฟ /lên kàp fai/ = lit. to play with fire

Of course, someone with special skills can play with real fire like in the picture, but “playing with fire” is most of the time a metaphor for playing with something dangerous, which can burn, consume and destroy you, if you are not careful. There are certain plays that qualify as dangerous in any culture, including Thai.

เล่นการพนัน /lên kaan phá-nan/ (lit. “play gambling”) = to be a gambler

เล่นหุ้น /lên hûn/ (lit. “play stocks”) = to trade in stock markets

Another dangerous play is to me fitting in this category of play.

เล่นการเมือง /lên kaan mueaang/ = lit. “play politics”

“Play politics” has two levels of meaning, one literal and the other cynical: 1) to enter a political career; and 2) to “play politics” in the sense of employing political stratagem or intrigue to gain advantage often in some unseemly or devious way, or to play partisan politics. In most societies, politics is a dangerous game with high stakes – you win big and lose big. How is that different from “play gambling,” eh?

Scary & Superstitious Play

Anyone with some familiarity with Thai culture will know that many Thais are highly superstitious. So, it’s no surprise that we also have scary-voodoo plays. Yes, we even play with superstition! And there are names for it:

เล่นของ /lên khǑOng/ (lit. “play things”) = to play (black) magic

เล่นไสยศาตร์ /lên sǎi-yá-sàat/ = lit. to play the occult

Thai people take superstition seriously and when Thai people talk of “magic” or ไสยศาตร์ /sǎi-yá-sàat/ (which means mysticism or the occult) there is “black magic” and there is “white magic” – black is bad, white is good – though I won’t go into that, not being an occultist myself J. In “playing (black) magic” or “playing the occult” charms and curses are supposedly made to cause passion, or to inflict or prevent harm. Those who “play the occult” are believed to be able to talk to spirits, deities or dead people, command or manifest the paranormal, etc. etc.

Now back to the term เล่นของ /lên khǑOng/ (lit. “play things”), which I think is interesting. A person who “plays the occult” or “play things” is called คนเล่นของ /khon lên khǑOng/. I reckon not all of them look scary but Thai horror movies like to portray them like in the picture here. (See this website to get a “feel” of the Thai occult.)

คนเล่นของ

คนเล่นของ "the occultist"

If you ask an average Thai, you’ll be told that only some people have the power to engage in this kind of play and that the occult is sacred and dangerous to violate. The danger is particularly high if the aspiring player doesn’t know or have the magical or supernatural power to contend with the “thing” being played with. This is the situation called เล่นของสูง /lên khǑOng sǔung/ – dangerous and inadvisable. In this case it’s the “high thing” (ของสูง /khǑOng sǔung/), i.e. highly powerful or highly sacred.

Of course, many of us think all this voodoo stuff is a load of nonsense, but when talking to Thais, beware and be careful. When you hear any talk about superstition, listen carefully and you will almost always hear this phrase uttered by somebody:

ไม่เชื่อ อย่าลบหลู่ /mâi chûeaa yàa lóp-lùu/ “Even if you don’t believe it, don’t be disrespectful.”

You’ll never know what’ll be the consequences, and you don’t want to find out – is the message. ;)

ไม่เชื่อ อย่าลบหลู่

ไม่เชื่อ อย่าลบหลู่

> Check back for the last installment: Part 3 “Sexual Play, etc.”

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Posted in General Thai Vocabulary, Thai Idioms & Proverbs

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“Play” in Thai Idioms – Part 1: Nice & Fun Play

Posted on June 13, 2010 by kaewmala| 2 Comments

คำว่า “เล่น” ในสำนวนไทย – ตอนที่ ๑: เล่นดี เล่นสนุกๆ

Before the crazy Thai political goblins abducted and detained me in the political chatterbox, I was more or less normal and very much enjoyed talking leisurely about the non-political aspect of Thai language (among other things). Now that the goblins have become less maniacal and keep me on a long leash, I am sneaking back to my original duty – detecting (in order to mumble on) about non-political Thai words and their meanings.

Thai – A Playful Language

In March and April I tweeted a series of Thai idioms that contained the word “เล่น” /lên/ – “to play” in Thai. I think I tweeted about 25 of them, but of course there are many more.

Those who know Thai can all agree that Thai is a very playful language since the native Thai-language speakers are a very playful people who love to do all kinds of things to our language – playing with, teasing, twisting, caressing, massaging, molesting and making love to it on a regular basis. I’ll give the first evidence for this bold claim with what Thais have done to the word “เล่น.”

I have selected a set of idioms and expressions with the word “เล่น” and put them into a few loose categories, if only to allow me to break the article into three parts as follows:

Part 1: Nice & Fun Play ตอนที่ ๑: เล่นดี เล่นสนุกๆ

Part 2: Bad & Dangerous Play ตอนที่ ๒: เล่นร้าย เล่นอันตราย

Part 3: Sexual Play, etc. ตอนที่ ๓: เล่นรัก ฯลฯ

And today, let’s start with Part 1.

เล่นน้ำสงกรานต์ Play Songkran

เล่นนํ้าสงกรานต์ “play Songkran” (photo credit: นราธิป www.cm108.com)

Part 1: Nice & Fun Play

ตอนที่ ๑: เล่นดี เล่นสนุกๆ

As you’ll see in this 3-part series of my musing about /lên/ words and idioms, there are all kinds of plays as expressed by this Thai word: “เล่น.” In Part 1 we’ll get to know the nice and fun set – the following vocabulary is used generally in day-to-day life, and shows the nice and fun side of Thai people and culture.

Joking, Teasing & Having Fun

In its most basic meaning, “to เล่น” /lên/ means “to play”, and the purpose of the “play” is “to have fun” (สนุก /sà-nùk/), which is in turn the purpose of existence among many of my fellow Thais. In the Thai concept of sanuk, you can’t be serious – or it would defeat the purpose of having fun, wouldn’t it? As though to make sure that “playing is sanuk” there’s even a Thai word that says just that: เล่นสนุก /lên sà-nùk/, i.e. “fun play.”

As for the non-serious part, among the first word new learners of Thai are introduced to is พูดเล่น /phôot lên/, which means “just joking” or “just kidding” (meaning what is said should not be taken seriously). We Thais use this expression as an excuse all the time when we want to tease or feel we have offended someone. For example:

แอปเปิ้ล อย่าโกธรผมเลยนะครับ ผมพูดเล่นน่ะ “Apple, darling, please don’t be angry with me (male speaker). I was just kidding.” (said with a repentant look)

Another very commonly used word for “kidding,” “joking” or “teasing” (in a friendly, good-naturedly way) is ล้อเล่น /lÓO lên/. One example of use (between two young Thais):

เฮ้ย พ่อแกมีกิ๊กจิงง่ะ! ล้อเล่นป่าววะ? “Hey, your old man has a squeeze? Really? You kidding me?”

One frequently used expression in Thai is เล่นๆ /lên lên/, lit. “play play.” Of course, it doesn’t mean double play. It is an adverb that emphasizes the activity as being done “just for fun,” or perhaps “just to kill time,” for example:

  • ทำเล่นๆ /tham lên lên/ (lit. “do play”) = to do it just for fun
  • เขียนเล่นๆ /khǐian lên lên/ (lit. “write play”) = to write just for fun
  • คบเล่นๆ /khóp lên lên/ (lit. “date play”) = to date [sbd] just for fun.

When someone is joking and jesting with words or action, not taking things seriously enough, you can reign them in a little with words like these:

คุณน่ะ พูดเป็นเล่นไป จริงจังหน่อยสิคะ “You are such a jester. Be more serious.”

นี่คุณเล่นทวิตเตอร์อีกแล้วเหรอ อย่าทำเป็นเล่นไปนะ เดี๋ยวหัวหน้ามาเล่นงานเอาหรอก “You are on Twitter again? Don’t muck around. One of these days the boss is gonna get you.”

Jokester type likes to “play funny” – เล่นตลก /lên tà-lòk/. This term actually has a wider span of meaning – from literally “joking,” “playing comedy” or “being funny” to more ambiguous and negative kinds of play like “being  facetious,” “making a farce, ridiculous sham or a hoax.”

Fun Leisure, Sports & Hobbies

Thais love sanuk so much that we can turn any mundane activity into something leisurely and fun. Consider these:

  • เดินเล่น /dooen lên/ (lit. “walk play”) = to take a stroll
  • กินเล่น /kin lên/ (lit. “eat play”) = to nibble at food or to eat as snacks (not a real meal)
  • วิ่งเล่น /wîng lên/ (lit. “run play”) = to run around (used with children)
  • นอนเล่น /nOOn lên/ (lit. “sleep play”) = to lie down for a rest (not a real nap or sleep), to lounge around

นอนเล่น

นอนเล่น สบายๆ ครับ - lit. "sleep play", lounge around, taking it easy (photo credit: http://marvin.diaryis.com/2006/09/24)

Pastimes for us Thais are also fun. Like people anywhere, we “play sports” เล่นกีฬา /lên kii-laa/. A number of sports (though not all) are “played” by us, for example, we “play football” (เล่นฟุตบอล), we “play golf” (เล่นกอล์ฟ), we “play ping pong” (เล่นปิงปอง). But when we swim as a serious exercise in a modern sense we simply “swim” (ว่ายน้ำ /wâay náam/).

Traditionally however, Thais actually love to “play water” เล่นน้ำ /lên náam/ – big time. Or Songkran water festival wouldn’t be one of our most favorite cultural events. Each Thai New Year in April Thais of all ages, especially the young, เล่นนํ้าสงกรานต์ /lên náam sǒng-kraan/ as seen in the picture above.

In the traditional Thai sense, the act of เล่นน้ำ /lên náam/ may or may not involve swimming. You can “play the water” in the klong (canal) (เล่นน้ำคลอง /lên náam khlOOng/), swimming pool (เล่นน้ำในสระว่ายน้ำ /lên náam nai sà-wâay-náam /), or the sea (เล่นน้ำทะเล /lên náam thá-lee/).

เล่นว่าว "play kite"

เล่นว่าว "play kite"

There are other kinds of leisure activities which Thais “play,” like one traditional activity:  เล่นว่าว /lên wâaw/, which means literally “to play kite”, or to put it another way “to fly kite” ชักว่าว* /chák wâaw/.

Take note*, gentlemen readers especially, the latter term ชักว่าว /chák wâaw/ should be used with care as it is a double entendre. It can mean flying a (real) kite like in the picture or it could mean flying something else entirely that involves not-so-innocent use of a hand with a particular “member” of the (male) body.

Then there are indoors sports, which is what we call กีฬาในร่ม /kii-laa nai rôm/. In this category, we play any number of “sports” from largely official, Western imports of indoors sports such as เล่นหมากรุก /lên màak-rúk/ = play chess, เล่นแร็กเก็ตบอล /lên racket ball/ = play racket ball, or เล่นเสก็ต /lên sà-két/ = “play” skate, to somewhat dubious indoors sport such as เล่นไพ่ /lên phâi/ = play cards. But again, watch out: “playing indoors sports” (เล่นกีฬาในร่ม /lên kii-laa nai rôm/) in Thai idiom is another double entendre. It can either mean playing a real, legitimate indoors sports such as ones mentioned above, or playing another kind of “sport” – a “contact” sport – without any referees, i.e. sex.

Other activities that are not seen as serious or productive are also often described as “play” activities. Many new computer-related activities are described as such, for example:

  • เล่นคอมพิวเตอร์ /lên computer/ (lit. “play computer”) = to use the computer
  • เล่นเกมส์คอมพิวเตอร์ /lên geem computer/ = lit. “play computer games”
  • เล่นเน็ต /lên nét/ (lit. “play internet”) = to use/spend time on the internet
  • เล่นเฟชบุ้ค /lên Facebook/ (lit. “play Facebook”) = to use Facebook
  • เล่นทวิตเตอร์ /lên Twitter/ (lit. “play Twitter”) = to use Twitter

Then there are some traditional hobbies that are actually taken quite seriously (certainly by the hobbyists), which are also described with the word “play.” One such serious hobby is เล่นพระ /lên phrá/. The word พระ /phrá/ in this phrase does not mean “monk” but “amulet” which is generally an image of Buddha. To เล่นพระ /lên phrá/ (lit. “play amulets”) means “to collect amulets.”

Skilled Play

เล่นหาง cursive Thai letters

เล่นหาง "cursive" Thai letters

Certain kinds of play require talent and honed skills – some skills can be honed with moderate efforts while other skills are much harder to acquire. I don’t know if Thai school children nowadays are still taught to practice Thai writing in the old cursive style like in the picture on the left. This kind of writing is called เล่นหาง /lên hǎang/, lit. “play tail”, i.e. “cursive” or (letters or writing) in “long-tailed” style like in the picture on the right.

In another artistic play เล่นลวดลาย /lên lûat laay/ (lit. “play design”), the “play” is with highly intricate design or designs – the word ลวดลาย /lûat laay/ or simply ลาย / laay/ means “design.”

ลายไทย เบญจรงค์

เล่นลวดลาย "play design" in Thai Benjarong urn

Thais care a lot for and take pride in the presentation of people and things, so the artistry is very important. Like this urn has an elaborate “Thai design” (ลายไทย /laay thai/). The maker of this urn “played (with) the Thai design” (เล่นลายไทย / lên laay thai/) and the result is an exquisite beauty of an urn.

In another kind of art – which actually has a lot of science – the “play” is with illusion and magic: เล่นกล /lên kon/, lit. “play magic.” This term has to levels of meanings: 1) to literally “play magic” in the sense that a professional and amateur magician plays magic or creates illusion; and 2) to make believe or create a hoax. In the first sense, the “magic” or “illusion” is called มายากล /maa-yaa kon/, which literally means “illusion machine.” To “play magic” in the literal sense is also called เล่นมายากล /lên maa-yaa kon/ and the “magician” or “illusionist” is called นักมายากล /nák maa-yaa kon/

Words for Thais are an art form. So, Thai language is full of word play. The first  idiom having to do with word play is เล่นลิ้น /lên lín/, lit. “play tongue.” In fact, it was this idiom that sent me off to collect Thai words and phrases with the word เล่น in them. Somebody was poking fun at PM Abhisit for using his oratory skills for no good purpose – according to the critics who said PM เล่นลิ้น /lên lín/, “playing tongue.” This expression means “to quibble” or “to use banter or witticism.” This kind of talent is ambivalent, leaning on the negative.

There is actually a literal Thai expression for “to play with words” – เล่นคำ /lên kham/, i.e. “to make puns or word play.” There are also synonyms, including เล่นสำนวน /lên sǎm-nuuan/, lit. “play idioms,” “play repartee”; and เล่นโวหาร /lên woo hǎan/, lit. “play rhetoric,” “play oration,” “play eloquence.” Sometimes these two also come together as เล่นสำนวนโวหาร /lên sǎm-nuuan woo hǎan/, with the same meaning as เล่นโวหาร.

Stay tuned for Part 2 & Part 3.

Part 2: Bad & Dangerous Play ตอนที่ ๒: เล่นร้าย เล่นอันตราย

Part 3: Sexual Play, etc. ตอนที่ ๓: เล่นรัก ฯลฯ

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Posted in General Thai Vocabulary, Thai Idioms & Proverbs

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Bugged by a Thai Phrase

Posted on June 4, 2010 by kaewmala| 4 Comments

Given that I’m still struggling to write long blog posts, I’ll experiment with some short ones. Here’s the first.

There is a new Thai phrase that’s been bugging me these last few days: กระชับความเหลื่อมล้ำ /krà-cháp khwaam-lùeaam-lám/. What the hell does it mean? And who was the genius who coined it? (I couldn’t help wondering.)

Among the 7o+ twitter feeds I currently follow, one is @thaireform, which is the twitter account of the Isra Institute (สถาบันอิศรา) information center, tweeting (in Thai) news and information relating to reform efforts in Thai society and politics. On June 1, 2010 @thaireform tweeted:

เปิดแผน “กระชับความเหลื่อมล้ำ” ของคุณหญิงสุพัตรา มาศดิตถ์ (ประชาชาติธุรกิจ) http://bit.ly/bLUNzo.

I could not believe my eyes and saved the tweet to ponder over. Why? Well, this is basically what it says in English:

Reveal “Tightening Inequality” Plan by Khunying Supatra Masdit (Prachachart Thurakij). http://bit.ly/bLUNzo.

You see what bugged me?

So I followed the link to read the original article to find out if the name of the plan in quotes was really for real. And to my surprise it seems this was an official name of a government project. Of course, I could very well guess that the plan had something to do with *narrowing* the gap (in status). The second word in the phrase certainly gave me a clue: ความเหลื่อมล้ำ /khwaam-lùeaam-lám/ means the “gap” or “inequality” in socio-economic statuses of people in society.

I understand that no government of any ideological persuasion would be crazy enough to advertise that it would “tighten,” “strengthen” or “reinforce” inequality among the populace. But that is what the word กระชับ /krà-cháp/ means, as a verb.

Sure, the word could also mean “compact” (as an adjective), or if you stretch it a bit, “to contain” (as a verb) as it was used in the case of Operation Containment in Rajprasong: กระชับพื้นที่วงล้อม /krà-cháp phúuen-thîi wong-lÓOm/ (lit. “to tighten/secure the perimeters” – “to contain the [protest] areas”).

So, the project name could mean “compact inequality” or “contain inequality,” though the first sounds strange and almost cute (though I hope it is a general opinion that there is nothing cute about inequality) and the second suggests that inequality has a right to exist but only needs some containment. Neither lives up to the noble goals of the project.

Strictly speaking, in this project title “กระชับความเหลื่อมล้ำ” the first word กระชับ functions as a verb, which, again, means to “tighten,” “strengthen” or “reinforce.”

With all due respect to Khunying Supatra (who might have had nothing whatsoever to do with naming the project), the choice of the word กระชับ is very ill advised – on two important counts.

  1. First, it is confusing and misleading, if not entirely wrong in meaning or syntax.
  2. Second, it gives a wrong imagery and a very unpleasant vibe.

After the May 2010 “incident” I’d guess that half of the target populations of this project would not take very kindly to the word กระชับ /krà-cháp/ or to having themselves or their situation “tightened,” “strengthened,” “reinforced” or “contained” – unless it has to do with their waistline.

……

There are two obvious words for this project (โครงการ /khroong-kaan/) to consider. Depending on whether the project wants to appear realistic (which, I guess, is probably the case) or idealistic, one of the two following phrases will work perfectly well for it. Neither would cause any confusion or raised eyebrows.

  • “ลดความเหลื่อมล้ำ” = “Reduce Inequality”
  • “ขจัดความเหลื่อมล้ำ” = “Eradicate Inequality”

Perhaps the project designers/managers wouldn’t minding “tightening” their language skills a bit? :)

—–UPDATE (6 June 2010)—–

Thanks to someone who commented on Twitter (@Nok_Kasama), I can now articulate why the word กระชับ in the project title would give a wrong imagery (and finally connect my two favorite subjects – politics and sexuality). :)

Here it is: the word กระชับ /krà-cháp/ is also often used when women want to “tighten” their, er, certain feminine parts, from exterior parts like buns and boobs, to the interior ones like wombs and (*blush blush*) “there,” you know. Like when a (often “mature”) lady wants to rejuvenate, i.e. “re-create” her virginity (Thai word = ทำสาว /tham-sǎaw/, lit. “make virgin”), her part that needs to be “rejuvenated” will be surgically “tightened”.

Now, I’m wondering if the project in question had people who speak Thai as the first language name the thing. And I’m not talking about Thais who speak Thai as their first language like George Bush speaks English as his first language.

—–UPDATE (7 June 2010)—–

Yet another usage of the troublesome word I thought of today – this time in the context of relationships.

กระชับความสัมพันธ์ /krà-cháp khwaam-sǎm-pan/

The above phrase, when used within the context of social relationships or relations between countries, it means “to strengthen ties” or to step up the level of connections or relations. When used in romantic relationship context, it means “to become closer” or “to be more intimate” in the relationship.

And I’m still bewildered by how social inequality can be “tightened” – let alone “strengthened,” “intimate” or “stepped up.” Someone please give the government a dictionary!

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Posted in General Thai Vocabulary, Musings, Thai Society, Politics, etc., Thai political terms

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Bangkok Burning: More Bullets, Smoke, Burnt Tires, Mystery Snipers & M79s

Posted on May 16, 2010 by kaewmala| 3 Comments

UPDATE (28 May)

I think I lost my mojo (if I ever had any).

Really, since the last updates I’ve gone through all kinds of emotions, except happiness, hope and joy. In the past week and a half, I have been stunned, angry, sad, surprised, demoralized, furious, dejected, and I don’t think I’ve counted them all. I might have laughed many times but they were ironic laughs, not happy ones. Also quite uncharacteristic of me, I was also often speechless.

I lost my will to tease  coherently in long prose on this blog. So I went on to make new friends and rant in bits of 140 characters on Twitter (@Thai_Talk), which is serving my intellectual and emotional state quite well for now.

Given that I’m bereft of long speeches, here is a brief summary of important things that have happened since the last updates.

  • On May 18 key Red shirt leaders surrendered themselves to the police and called the end to the Red shirt protests. The Red shirt protesters were clearly unhappy about their leaders’ decision and the so called “hardcore” Red members reportedly went on to “fight” the troops, burn tires and torch Bangkok, as we have seen in the news.
  • Bangkok was burned obviously, but not all of Bangkok, “just” in 36 locations. The most severe fires were in Siam Square (taking down the old Siam Theater and a few other buildings and businesses) and the second-largest mall in Asia, Central World (CTW) which was burned down to ashes. Bangkok streets have been cleaned up.
  • Burning also spread to outside of Bangkok. City halls and local government TV stations were torched in major provinces like Chiang Mai, Ubon, Udon, Khon Kaen.
  • 50+ people killed since May 13, making a total of 88 death toll including April 10 crackdown of Red protests in Bangkok – of this number most were Red protesters, many were believed to be innocent bystanders; among the dead were 9 soldiers (5 killed earlier on April 10), 2 policemen, 4 medics, and 2 foreign journalists  (1 killed on April 10). (see a detailed spreadsheet of verified dead with news sources & identified causes of death, by Rikker Dockum here)
  • Thailand was and still is under State of Emergency, and curfews have been imposed in Bangkok and 23 other provinces. The last time Thais lived under curfews was in 1992 (the “Black May” in which 52 people were killed and at least 100 missing during May 17-20 military crackdown of protesters).
  • 500+ people were arrested for breaking the curfews in Bangkok. Scores were also reportedly arrested in some provinces. Most arrested were given a 2-year probation, instead of serving 2 months prison term and 2,000 bath fine.
  • More Red protest leaders, but not all,  surrendered (at different times, often in groups of 2-3). They are now held in custody under the emergency decree (which allows the government to hold them without charge up to 30 days). Besides violations of emergency decrees and a few other minor charges, they are (to be) charged with terrorism – a charge they vow to fight against.
  • A terrorism charge has been made against former PM Thaksin Shinawatra, who is now residing (as a naturalized citizen) in Montenegro. The Thai government says he was bank-rolling the Red shirt “terrorists.”
  • An academic, a history professor Suthachai Yimpraset of Chulalongkorn University, was arrested a couple of days ago but has not been charged with any crime, although authorities said the arrest was “to prevent him from instigating acts of terrorism.” He has been held in solitary confinement in an army camp in Saraburi. A diabetic, he has reportedly gone on hunger strike for having been denied access to books he wanted to read to prepare lectures for his students. Prof. Suthachai was named in the so-called CRES “Mind Map”, a convoluted diagram of names and connections of people who, according to CRES, are in the secret “Networks to topple the monarchy.”

That’s all for now, folks. I hope to be more cheery next time.

UPDATES (15-17 May 2010)

Too much has happened and I’m not in the frame of mind to write any coherent article, so here are some news reports and accounts of events in the past three days (15-17 May) that I’ve picked, worth checking out, if you haven’t already. (*A few picks added on May 17th are  in RED. Sorry, I couldn’t keep up and post them all here as there are too many. Check the usual sources, CNN, BBC, Spielgel, France 24 and all other big ones. Key news for the night of May 16th was that Dusit Thani Hotel came under fire. About 100 journalists and hotel staff took refuge in hotel basement. One navy was shot in the head, killed, making the first death on the authority side.)

KEY INFO

As of 20:30 hr Monday, May 17th: death toll 35 (34 civilian, 1 soldier), 271 injured (3 in ICU). Note that this are figures reported by Bangkok EMS. Some suspect actual casualties may be higher but there is as yet no solid proof to lend credence to the suspicion.

Bangkok Dangerous Map: to check for the Hot Spots to avoid in inner Bangkok

Official casualties statistics by ศูนย์เอราวัณ (Bangkok EMS): (information in Thai) Number of death and injured, providing list of names & basic info for the injured, e.g. which hospital they have been sent to and whether they have been admitted (regular or ICU), transferred or released

(Added 17 May)

SPECIAL OF THE DAY>> Thai Rath ไทยรัฐ [in Thai]: ‘แดง’ ทุบสถิติทุกประวัติศาสตร์การชุมนุมไทย (Reds broke records in Thai rally history)

  • มีการเจรจาระหว่างแกนนำกลุ่มผู้ ชุมนุมกับรัฐบาลเพื่อร่วมหาข้อยุติ ซึ่งหน้าประวัติศาสตร์เมืองไทย จะไม่ค่อยเห็นระดับผู้นำประเทศยอม “ลดตัว” (Negotiations between rally leaders and the government to find resolutions unprecedented in Thai history, in which national leaders normally don’t “condescend” to do such things.)
  • มีการปะทะกันระหว่างเจ้าหน้าที่กับ กลุ่มผู้ชุมนุม (หรือผู้ที่ติดอาวุธแฝงในที่ชุมนุม) ครั้งใหญ่ที่สุดหลังมีปรากฏการณ์ปราบคอมมิวนิสต์ Largest clashes between authorities and protesters since the suppression of communist insurgents  {or armed individuals who infiltrated the protests})
  • มีแกนนำเรียกร้องทางการเมืองถูก ดำเนินคดีมากที่สุด (Largest number of political leaders facing legal prosecution)
  • มีการใช้ อาวุธสงครามมากที่สุด โดยเฉพาะอย่างยิิ่ง ระเบิด M 79 เรียกว่า “ยิงรายวัน” (Highest number of war weapons used “daily” especially M79 grenades)
  • มีผู้ชุมนุมและ แกนนำทำผิดกฎหมายมากที่สุดโดยการยึดรถ ยึดอาวุธ (Highest number of protesters and leaders committing illegal acts, e.g. vehicle hijacking, weapon seizures [from authorities])
  • มีการชุมนุมที่สร้างผลกระทบให้กับภาคธุรกิจ (Rallies have severely affected the business sector)
  • มีการต่อสู้ของผู้ชุมนุมกับเจ้า หน้าที่ โดยใช้อาวุธหลากหลายชนิด โดยเริ่มตั้งแต่ หนังสติ๊ก, ลูกแก้ว, น็อต, หัวตะปู, บั้งไฟ, พลุ, ตะไล, โคมลอย, ไม้, เหล็ก, เหล็กปลายแหลม, และระเบิดเพลิง (Diversity of weapons protesters used to fight with authorities, including slingshots, glass balls, knots, nails, fire rockets, fireworks, sky rockets, hot air balloons, sticks, irons, sharpened irons, firebombs) <<methinks, Daily News forgot tires and matches, bamboo sticks, bottles, rocks, etc.
  • มีการสั่งปิดเว็บไซต์ออนไลน์มากที่สุดเท่าที่มีการดำเนินการบริการด้าน เทคโนโลยีสารสนเทศ (Highest number of websites closed down)
  • ท้ายที่สุด[อาจ]จะมี “ผู้เสียชีวิต” มากที่สุด (Eventually – it is speculated – possibly the highest death toll) <<this one may be a bit hyperbolic methinks

YouTube: video showing 10 minutes of Red-supporting crowds at Victory Monument on May 16th, in rage that soldiers did not allow those short in Soi Rang Naam to be transported out; finally police escorted Rescue van inside to retrieve the victims; crowds loudly shouting “Abhisit get out!”

CNN iReport: “Baby used as Human Shield by Reds” (controversial clip taken in new hot spot: Rama 4 – Klong Toey)

Daily Mail: “The moment Thai Red Shirt protesters ‘used a child as a human shield’ as country teeters on brink of civil war”

Bangkok Post: Account of today’s story adapted for those wanting to learn Thai

Federico Ferrera: How liberal democratic countries deal with violent mob

Some Blogs Providing Good Daily Summary, Information & Analysis

Saksith

Bangkok Pundit

Political Prisoners in Thailand (now blocked by CRES, 26 May)

New Mandala (best features are comments)

The Thai Report

Red Rumblings Outside Bangkok*(updated)

Anger in the Northeast

Red Rally in Ubon Ratchathani

นปช.เชียงใหม่ ระดมพลเตรียมร้อง UN (16 May) (Reds in Chiang Mai calling for UN intervention)

แดง เมืองชลฯ ปิดสี่แยกท่าเรือแหลมฉบัง (17 May) (Reds in Chonburi rallying in Laem Chabang, blaming media for false information that they would set fire to oil refinery)

Twitter @karmanomad: 1,000 reds in front of khon kaen provincial hall, ”much anger” says eyewitness.

THAI TV>>Check out Thai PBS online (live streaming), which is the only free Thai TV channel that covers the crisis consistently (and least biased)

New Reports & First-Hand Accounts (15-16 May)

ENGLISH

Guardian: “Redshirts warn of civil war as Thai troops told to shoot on sight” by Ben Doherty

New Mandala: “Nick Nostitz in the killing zone” (a personal account of a journalist got caught and shot in Soi Rang Naam near Victory Monument in Bangkok on May 15th) ****MUST READ

YouTube: video showing 4.5 minutes of the incident described by Nick Nostitz above

Der Spiegel: another account by Spiegel’s Thilo Thielke who was in the same incident “Bangkok droht der Bürgerkrieg” (in German, lots of very good pictures)

CNN: “On the scene: Bangkok at boiling point” by Sara Sidner (15 May)

CNN: “Thai government to impose curfew in Bangkok” (16 May – though the government decided not to impose curfew after all)

BBC: “Thai government sets new ultimatum in Bangkok protests”

HRW: Human Rights Watch told Thailand to “Revoke Life Fire Zone in Bangkok: Abide by UN Principles on Use of Force and Firearms”

AP: “Thai PM defends deadly army crackdown in Bangkok”

Bangkok Post: “27 reds imprisoned for 6 months”

Bangkok Post: “PM: Military operations to continue”

A lot of women, children and elderly at Rajprasong protest site, see some pictures here and here. In the afternoon of May 16th, Red leaders said anyone wishing to leave protest could leave and most of women, elderly and children (as well as vendors selling stuffs to protesters) left, according to Thai PBS broadcast.  <<UPDATE: May 17, turned out not many left:  some media & commentators said they did not get full information from government – some women, even those with young children said they’d rather die than leaving; many feared they would be shot on spot by soldiers if they left

TIME: “Bracing for a Protest’s Denouement” by Robert Horn (good background & pictures)

TIMES ONLINE: “Army brings death and carnage to the streets” by Sian Powell (see comments also)

THAI

Some Thai-language reports during 15-16 May 2010

มติชน : M.79ถล่มสน.ลุมพินี7-8ลูกหัวค่ำ ยิงสนั่น-ตูมตามใจกลางกรุง ทหารรุกหนักล้อมประชิด สรุปยอดตายทะลุ22ศพ

ข่าวสด: “สื่อนอกแพร่ภาพยิงสยอง ศพเกลื่อนรางน้ำ-ดินแดง”

Video on (Red Shirt) UDD facebook page, providing accounts of local residents in Din Daeng area & inside view in the live fire zone

ไทยรัฐ: “นักข่าวหนีกระเจิง หวั่นรุนแรง แกนนำถกเครียด” (picture of Red-shirt protesters, mostly women, at Rajaprasong, standing to royal anthem)

ไทยรัฐ: “หนุนกดดันคืนพื้นที่ ปชช.เห็นด้วย วอนรัฐ-นปช.เจรจา”

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Posted in Thai Society, Politics, etc., Thai political terms

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“Reconciliation” Talk (Thai-Style) & Bullets in the Head (Mafia-Style)

Posted on May 15, 2010 by kaewmala| 6 Comments

A Chronicle (3 – 14 May 2010)


The Beginning of the End or the End of the Beginning?

On Tuesday night of May 3rd Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva announced on national television that he would offer the Red Shirts elections on November 14 and a “road map” to a national “reconciliation.” The Thai media would come to call the “reconciliation plan” แผนปรองดอง /phĚEn prOOng dOOng/ and use the original English word “road map” in their reports (โรดแมป, โรดแม็ป or โรดแมพ in Thai, none of which I think quite correctly reflects the English pronunciation: โร้ดแหมบ).

Many headlines on May 4th included such phrases as ปลดล็อควิกฤติ /plòt lÓOk wí-krìt/, “unlock the crisis” or ฝ่าวิกฤติ /fàa wí-krìt/, “break through the crisis.” They gave a very active, positive feeling, even hopeful. (Only the plan didn’t turn out to be a breakthrough after all and the crisis wasn’t so much unlocked but knotted even a bit further.)

Reconciliation – Or So It Was Called

As reported by the Bangkok Post on May 4th “PM proposes Nov 14 poll date”, the five-point reconciliation plan proposed by the PM included the following:

1) The monarchy must not be used as a tool in political conflicts.

2) The country must be reformed by tackling economic disparities and inequality.

3) The media must refrain from reports which exacerbate social or political conflicts.

4) An independent fact-finding panel must be appointed to review fatal incidents involving security forces and protesters [on April 10, 2010].

5) The reconciliation process must be carried out with the cooperation of all sides.*

(*Having read the original Thai explanation given by the PM, I think the emphasis of the last point is rather “To address injustice and unfairness in existing political rules.” See more details as reported in a Thai newspaper คมชัดลึก Kom Chad Luek and the English version of PM’s detailed explanation provided by Ministry of Foreign Affairs here.  The Nation gave a slightly different summary when it first reported the PM’s announcement here. I made my own summary of the five-point plan based on the original explanation by the PM, included at the end of the article.)

Though the PM said he had “floated the ideas” and discussed the five objectives above with “many affected parties” as reported in the Bangkok Post, it quickly became clear that he didn’t consult his mentor Chuan Leekpai or his deputy Suthep Thueksuban and other seniors in the Democratic Party. To his credit PM Abhisit went out of character in plotting the road map without them. I conjecture he was hoping to strong-arm them to go along with it. They did – grudgingly. As to whose counsel PM sought in plotting the road map the public has little idea.

Negotiating “Reconciliation”

In the week following the PM’s announcement, the government called the Red Shirts (echoed by the media and several sectors in society) to enter กระบวนการปรองดองแห่งชาติ /krà-buuan-kaan prOOng dOOng hÈEng châat/, “national reconciliation process” as laid out by the PM. There were rounds of การเจรจา /kaan jee-rá-jaa/, “talk,” “negotiation,” between the government and the Red leaders. All sides, perhaps except those not wishing for peace, were hoping for ข้อยุติ /khÔO yú-tì/, a “resolution,” an “endgame.” But resolution and endgame proved elusive.

The initial reaction to the PM’s “reconciliation” “road map” of the Red Shirts was แบ่งรับแบ่งสู้ /bÈEng ràp bÈEng sûu/, “tentative” or “half receptive, half defensive” as the Thai saying goes. They agreed to enter into the reconciliation process and seemed guardedly receptive to the idea of a set election date. However, while not against กำหนดวันเลือกตั้ง /kam-nòt wan lûeaak-tâng/ “setting an election date,” the Red Shirts felt that it was more important for the PM to กำหนดวันยุบสภา / kam-nòt wan yúp sà-phaa/, “set a date for house dissolution.” It felt to some like a posturing on the Red leaders’ part than making a real bargaining point, considering the Constitution clearly states that elections must be held within 45-60 days after house dissolution. Sure enough, the government came back and said, house dissolution would occur during September 15th and 30th.

The majority in Thai society liked the idea of reconciliation and no more bloodshed. An ABAC Poll asking “What do you think of road map?” returned 61% agree or strongly agree, 15% disagree or strongly disagree, and 24% impassive (no idea) (see more).  Luckily, at least three quarters of Thais still have active brains, and one in the unabashed socialist Giles Ji Ungpakorn’s is particularly active. His response to PM’s road map was certainly passionate (and was/is blocked in Thailand), but still accessible here on LINKS: International Journal of Socialist Renewal site.

Spirited and open discussion on the road map was as usual on New Mandala.

Red Supporters felt Red Shirt leaders should not readily take the offer but bargain with Abhisit for a better deal. Among the key things they wanted were:

  • Unconditional house dissolution on August 14th
  • Lifting Emergency Decree and withdrawing all troops
  • Lifting all media censorship (and returning to them their People’s TV (PTV) which had been shut down since early in the crisis)
  • Amnesty for all Reds
  • A truly neutral fact-finding panel to investigate the April 10 crackdown (See more details.)

It was palpable that the Reds did not trust the government to honor its words. Every other journalist, blogger, facebooker, twitterer, and their third cousin weighed in. Even the US Embassy urged peaceful reconciliation.  The loquacious Dr. Weng, one of the Red leaders whose name has become a verb, questioned ความจริงใจ /kwaam jing jai/, “sincerity” of the government.

As for the Yellow (aka Pink and Multicolor) Shirts who have become less shy to show their yellow hue since the reconciliation, the yellower their shirt the more they hated the PM’s offer. A hardcore PAD and son of Sondhi, Jittanart Limthongkul, ridiculed the PM’s “road map” as a “Red Map” (เรดแมป) (see his interview on Manager website). To the yellowest of the Yellow PAD, the PM offered way too much and ostensibly “played into the hand” of the Red Shirts who have been “plotting” for รัฐไทยใหม่/ràt thai mài/, the “New Thai State” which is a republic – as they believe – with Thaksin as president and head of state. Having steadfastly supported Abhisit throughout (and many would say, even installed him in the Government House), the PAD tossed Abhisit under the tuk-tuk unceremoniously, saying he should quit. Posturing or no, it was pretty dramatic and very believable.

While the Red Shirt leaders were struggling to sort things out among themselves, trying to find a unified จุดยืน /jùt yuuen/, “standpoint” (in other words, the doves working on the hawks to come round to their way of thinking to end the protests), the hardliners in the Yellow camp were pressuring the government to end the protests and end it NOW! Prominent leaders such as Chamlong Srimuang who led the 1992 uprising against military dictatorship this time called the government and the military to invoke กฎอัยการศึก /kòt-ai-yá-kaan-sùk/, “martial law” to “end it quickly.” The Yellow Shirts and the government resumed talking of ผู้ก่อการร้าย /phûu kÒO kaan ray/, “terrorists” among the Red Shirts. Some high profile columnists like เปลว สีเงิน (Silver Flame) furiously castigated Abhisit government for being weak and indecisive towards the Red Shirts, leading the way for many commentators and PAD supporters to call the Red Shirts กบฏ /kà-bòt/, “rebels” or “traitors.” Thanong Khanthong of the Nation lambasted Abhisit for saving his own skin and called him “The Great Pretender.”

As the Red Shirts’ position started to swing and sway 3-4 days after the “road map” was announced, the government’s position hardened. PM Abhisit was quoted by the BBC as saying:

“If they don’t go home, I’m not going to dissolve parliament.”

“I repeat, I am not negotiating with anybody … including the protesters.”

My roadmap or the highway?

Amidst loud commotions some faint voices of รักสันติ /rák sǎn-tì/, “peace loving,” civil society groups, activists, NGOs and academics were just barely audible. They seized the PM’s road map and took the opportunity to float around big words like:

ปฏิรูปประเทศ /pà-tì-rûup prà-thêet/, “national reform”

วาระแห่งชาติ /waa-rá hÈEng châat/, “national agenda”

หลักนิติธรรม /làk ní-tì-tham/, “rule of law principle”

นิติรัฐ /ní-tì-rát/, “Rechtsstaat,” “rule of law”

ความเป็นธรรม /khwaam pen tham/, “justice,” “fairness”

ช่องว่างรายได้ /chÔOng wâng raay-dâay/, “income gap”

รัฐสวัสดิการ /rát sà-wàt-dì-kaan/, “welfare state”

ภาคประชาชน /phâak prà-chaa-chon/, “civil society”

การมีส่วนร่วม /kaan mii sàan-rûam/, “participation”

มาตรฐานเดียว /mâat-trà-thǎan diiaw/, “one standard.”

You’d think that the Red Shirts would appreciate these peace-loving folks, at least for what they’re calling for even though they might be boring peaceniks. Unfortunately many Red Shirts seem to have suffered strong affliction of mistrust and anti-intellectualism, and are more than a little disdainful of NGOs and activists. Some went so far as to brand the public intellectuals and social activists อำมาตย์ภาคประชาชน /am-màat phâak prà-chaa-chon/, “civil society aristocrats.”


Rumors and Fantasies

As those interested in the political process of the conflict were holding our breaths on the outcomes of the negotiation and consuming dribbles of news leak from backroom dealings, the majority of Thais were busy feeding on ข่าวลือ /khàaw luue/, “rumors.”

Thaksin was dead!!!!! His (ex-)wife and children were all seen wearing black going to Hong Kong!!!! Thaksin had terminal cancer!!! Thaksin went into a coma while undergoing a chemo therapy!! Thaksin lost all his hair and was wearing a crooked wig and there was a “proof” for it! … So numerous Facebook walls, tweets, email forwards, even newspaper columns (mostly of yellowish tinge) would have the Thai people believe. The “independent” “newspaper you can trust” The Nation was busy analyzing allegedly fake pictures of live Thaksin, finding faults with the background that just seemed off, unnatural shadows or wind blowing trees the wrong way, etc., etc. But finally a Nation report called Thaksin’s number and talked to someone who sounded “real” and definitely just like Thaksin. So after about a week of his mortality in doubt, Thaksin rose from “the dead” and was seen on TV giving interviews from Montenegro. Being no less Thai than their Yellow countrymen and women, the Red Shirts weren’t immune to rumors either. In a rumor of a much smaller scale and intensity circulating among the Reds was that the head of the privy council, General Prem, was believed to be no longer alive because (like Thaksin) he had been unseen in public for some time.

But all that wasn’t so creative and fantastical as the next. The Center for the Resolution of the Emergency Situation or CRES, ศ.อ.ฉ. to Thais, “discovered” a conspiracy of its own: เครือข่ายล้มเจ้า /khrueaa khàay lóm jâaw/ or a “network to overthrow the monarchy.” A convoluted chart that looked messier than any treasure maps Indiana Jones would ever have a misfortune to make sense of was produced by the CRES. Names of many prominent figures closely and marginally related to the Red movement, or even not related but having views not conforming to the official line, were put somewhere in the “network.” Those ready to believe in such a conspiracy gobbled it up. The more skeptical type either scratched their heads or just stared at it wondering at the amount of energy that went into making it. Evidence for such a conspiracy, as in most conspiracies, wasn’t readily available, if there was any.

This chart would be called by some skeptics a “Mind Map” (using the English word). (See a video commentary on Thai taste for rumors and the Mind Map.) A more academic analysis of such a conspiracy as a political tool was given by เกษียร เตชะพีระ Kasian Tejapira here.  Even someone whose name appeared on the Mind Map สมศักดิ์ เจียมธีรสกุล Somsak Jeamteerasakul gave his own take here.)

Getting off the Tiger’s Back – Taking down a Mob

A week past, cracks were apparent in the Red Shirt leadership, though the core leaders strenuously denied it. Many commentators said the Red Shirts couldn’t agree on how to “find the way out,” or หาทางลง /hǎa thaang long/ (lit. “find the way down”) as it was often described in Thai. Neither could they find จุดลงตัว /jùt long tuaa/, lit. “the balanced point,” that all key Reds could agree to that would lead to the exit, a possible way to take down the purring red-clad tiger.

Some veteran protest leaders said it was much easier to rouse a tiger (of a mob) than to pacify it. The core Red Shirt leaders apparently couldn’t agree on how and when to get off the tiger’s back.

It was widely reported that สายพิราบ /sǎay phí-râap/, the “dovish faction,” led by Veera Musikapongse, was losing control to สายเหยี่ยว /sǎay yìiaw/, the “hawkish faction,” led by Jatuporn Prompan. It was seemingly a matter of the Red doves wanting to end the protests, but the Red hawks didn’t. To end or not to end, เลิก หรือ ไม่เลิก /lôoek/ /rǔue/ /mâi lôoek/, was the question. And then “Seh Daeng,” the rogue general, re-entered the scene after having been sort of banished from the Red stage for a while. The Red tiger got roused again by the charismatic rogue general.

So the Red tiger was not pacified or taken down. The protests were not to end. The almost done deal fell apart. Meanwhile, Mr. Veera has disappeared for the Red stage in the last 4-5 days, and was reported by Nirmal Ghosh of the Straits Times on May 14th to have left the leadership of the UDD along with a few other moderate core leaders. (Veera was quoted by some sources saying that during his public disappearance he was busy negotiating with the government, still seeking for a peaceful resolution.)

Seh Daeng or General Khattiya Sawasdipol, a renegade and incendiary figure within and without the Red movement, was seen as a ฮาร์ดคอร์ “hardcore” Red and believed by many to have been closely allied with นายใหญ่ /naay yài/ “the big boss,” i.e. Thaksin. Some conjectured that “the big boss” didn’t want the protests to end.

The Knottiness of the Law

More than a few commentators also pointed to another obstacle that got in the way of the Red Shirts concluding the protests – the knottiness of the law as concerning personal freedom of the core Red leaders if and when the protests end.

The Red Shirt leaders have at least publicly consistently said that they would not ask for นิรโทษกรรม /ní-rá-thôot-sà-kam/, an “amnesty.” But their critics weren’t convinced. The leaders said they would มอบตัว /mÔOp tua/, “turn [themselves] in” to the police for whatever crime the government would charge them with. All the while they insisted that they were not terrorists or traitors bent on ล้มสถาบัน /lóm sà-thǎa-ban/, “overthrowing the monarchy,” so they should not be charged with such hefty crimes as “terrorism” or “treason” – ก่อการร้าย /kÒO kaan ráay/ or กบฏ /kà-bòt/. Some also suggested (without evidence) that the Red leaders were concerned whether if they were to turn themselves in they would not “get bail,” ได้รับการประกันตัว /dâay ráp kaan prà-kan tua/.

Yet, no one can say with any certainty if this issue was really a big concern among the Red leaders. Besides what was mentioned above, what the Red leaders insisted on was the end of the Emergency Decree, พ.ร.ก. ฉุกเฉิน /pOO-rOO-kOO chùk-chǒoen/, which the government steadfastly refused to comply. They also insisted on being treated with the same (legal) standard as applied to those on the government side, singling out Deputy PM Suthep as an example, saying if they would be charged for any crime, then Suthep had to be charged for his orders for the April 10 crackdown too. They demanded that Suthep turn himself in to the police. Suthep readily accepted the (ill thought) challenge and turned himself in to the DSI (Department of Special Investigation), กรมสอบสวนคดีพิเศษ (ดีเอสไอ) /krom sÒOp sǔan khá-dii phí-sèet/. It was a farce of course because there were no charges.

Vigorous media censorship by the government was also an issue of contention. By latest count at least 50,000 websites have been closed down. Red-sympathetic and anti-government media outlets, TV and radio and websites, have been major targets and victims. The government has insisted on keeping “law and order.” Thailand was still in สถานการณ์ฉุกเฉิน /sà-thǎa-ná-kaan chùk-chǒoen/, State of Emergency and no laws were going to be lifted.

A Bullet in the Head and Hell Broke Loose

So State of Emergency we got. A real one. With bullets in people’s heads, guns fired with rubber and live bullets in the air and at bodies, grenades thrown, bombs exploded, a bus burnt, tear gas fired, and more. And that was just in the last 24 hours.

The government finally decided to take ปฏิบัติการขั้นเด็ดขาด /pà-tì-bàt-kaan khân dèt-khàat/, a “decisive action,” to bring an end to the mob; if the protesters were not willing to ยุติการชุมนุม /yú-tì kaan-chum-num/, “end the demonstrations,” on their own accord, then it would have to สลายการชุมนุม /sà-lǎay kaan-chum-num/, “disperse the demonstrations,” (though less formal people would call it สลายม็อบ /sà-lǎay mÒp/, “disperse the mob”).

The government started locking down Rajaprasong area, the main protest site, from 6pm of Thursday night. APCs and troops in full combat gears moved in several hot spots. It said the troops were needed to กดดัน /kòt dan/, “pressure” the protesters to go home and to “separate the innocents,” แยกผู้บริสุทธิ์ /yÊEk phûu bOO-rí-sùt/, from the “terrorists.” As to how it would or could accomplish that is anybody’s guess.

Just one hour after the lock down on Thursday night, the dramatic beginning of the crackdown of the Red Shirts began. Seh Daeng was shot with a sniper bullet in the head while giving interviews to several reporters, including Thomas Fuller of the International Herald Tribune. This was the picture captured by a Nation reporter Somruethai nearly 50,000 people would see in the first 24 hours, and Fuller gave his account of the moment Seh Daeng was shot here. No one took responsibility of the shooting. The shooter was most probably a highly skilled sniper. The army and government denied any role in the shooting. [UPDATES: Seh Daeng was taken to Hua Chiew Hospital and then moved to Vajjira Hospital (though he was shot near Chula Hospital), and is now still on life support in ICU.]

The following day would see more mayhem and casualties. Clashes were reported throughout the day and continued into the night. By midnight of Friday May 14th, reports gleaned on Twitter had between 7-10 dead, 101 injured (9 in ICU). 

(See reports by CNN and the BBC’s Alastair Leithead and Rachel Harvey for incidents during the day of May 14th, and Patrick Winn’s for his account of Friday night.) The army and CRES declared it would continue to กระชับพื้นที่ /krà-cháp phúuen-thîi/, “tighten the area.” Fears loom large that more would happen over the night.

[UPDATES: By 6am on Saturday, May 15th, casualties increased to 16 dead and 141 injured - of those killed were 14 men and 1 woman and a 10-yr-old child was among the injured, shot in the stomach. By night time the number of dead rose to 24, and the 10-yr-old boy finally succumbed.]

The End of the Beginning or the Beginning of the End?

(Sources for this section are from Twitter.)

Friday night was also a busy night for TV press conferences. The government spokesman Panitan came on to explain and clarify the rules of engagement that troops were ordered to only fire live rounds “into the air” and “in self-defense” and to “attack people in general.” He also said that the troops only acted in response to a “group of people, possibly Red Shirts,” “attacking authorities.” Meanwhile, PM Abhisit was still “willing to work with civil society on the road map.” (bangkokpundit, Journotopia)

Meanwhile the CRES spokesman Colonel Sansern Kaewkamnerd gave his own:

“People have been trying to distort news… The public have seen footages of troops firing, but haven’t seen reds shooting at troops… Men on motorcycles using grenades tried to increase provocation on troops’ barricades… Troops will never use bombs. Will fire one bullet at a time only.” (tulsathit)

Thaksin came out to make an announcement of his own early in the night, calling for stop in siege, lift of emergency law, talks and reconciliation (see Bangkok Post). (thaitvnews)

Of all, the biggest news flash of the night went to Sondhi Limthongkul who appeared on ASTV for the first time in months. He announced his resignation from the News Politics Party and to resume PAD leadership. (TAN_Network) Last but not least, he also said:

วันนี้ผมมองข้ามนายกฯอภิสิทธิ์ไปแล้ว …ไม่มีความหมายสำหรับผม (Nattha_tvthai)

“Today, I look beyond Abhisit … [He] no longer matters to me.”


>>Discussion on New Mandala: “Bangkok: A dangerous new phase” and “Crackdown? Abhisit’s Last Stand?”

>>My own summary of the five-point road map as explained (in Thai) by the PM as reported in Kom Chad Luek (4 May 2010).  (I have taken the essence of each point and avoided paraphrasing as much as possible.)

  1. ประชาชนทุกฝ่าย “ช่วยกันปกป้องเทิดทูนสถาบัน กษัตริย์และพระบรมวงศานุวงศ์ ไม่ให้มีสื่อใดจาบจ้างสถาบัน” เพื่อไม่ให้สถาบัน “ถูกดึงมาสู่ความขัดแย้งทางการเมือง”
  2. เนื่องจาก “พี่น้องที่มาชุมนุม” ไม่ได้รับความเป็นธรรมและโอกาส “พี่น้องจะได้รับการดูแลด้วยระบบสวัสดิการที่ดี การศึกษา สาธารณสุข และการมีอาชีพ มีรายได้ มีความมั่นคงในชีวิต รวมถึงพี่น้องที่มีเรื่องทุกข์ร้อน มีหนี้สิน ไม่มีที่ดินทำกิน จะได้รับการดูแลอย่างเป็นระบบ” และจะ “ดึงเอาทุกภาคส่วนเข้ามาช่วย แก้ไขปัญหาอย่างเป็นระบบ”
  3. “เทคโนโลยีปัจจุบันกลาย เป็นเครื่องมือทางการเมือง” “เราจะต้องทำให้สื่อทุก สื่อมีอิสระในการเสนอข่าว แต่ไม่ใช่การนำเสนอข่าวที่สร้างความแตกแยก ละเมิดสิทธิ ถ้าเราทำให้สื่อมีอิสระได้เราจะลดความขัดแย้งได้อย่างรวดเร็ว”
  4. “จะต้องมีการตรวจสอบ มีการดำเนินการตามกฎหมาย ถึงสาเหตุที่มาที่ไป” ของเหตุการณ์รุนแรงที่เกดขึ้นในการชุมนุมตั้งแต่เดือนมีนาคมเป็นต้นมา “เราจะมีการตั้งคณะกรรมการอิสระเพื่อเข้ามาตรวจสอบเพื่อให้ความเป็น ธรรมทุกฝ่าย เพื่อให้ความจริงปรากฏกับประชาชนได้รับทราบ”
  5. “จัดการกับปัญหา” ความไม่เป็นธรรมในกติกาการเมือง “เพื่อให้ความเป็นธรรมกับทุกฝ่าย ซึ่งครอบคลุมตั้งแต่ประเด็นการแก้รัฐธรรมนูญจนถึงการชุมนุมเกิน 5 คน ที่ทำให้ไปสู่ความขัดแย้ง”

>>For more Thai political terms see The Reigning Vocabulary of Thai Colored Politics.

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Thai Women and the Question of Money

Posted on May 10, 2010 by kaewmala| 13 Comments

In a typical discussion about Thai-farang romance, sooner or later someone is bound to raise the question of money – someone being a foreign man who’s either contemplating getting into or already in a relationship with a Thai woman. What should he expect to give her in terms of financial support, how much, should he or should he not do it, is he being duped, etc., etc.

I’m sure you’ve heard and read as I have more times than I could count how Thai women are said to be “moneygrubbers” and “gold diggers” (besides “cheaters” and “liars” and some other unflattering names). If you haven’t, a half-hour visit to the Thaivisa forum or Stickman’s website (and many other sites where current and aspiring foreign expats with Thai partners congregate), will bring you quickly up to date. I used to be upset about these types of comments but I have long since grown accustomed to seeing them like an old fixture that is a sight for sore eyes and  realized that they are more reflective of the source of comments than about Thai women.

Not that, being a Thai woman myself, I think Thai women are all saintly. Moneygrubbers, gold diggers, cheaters, liars, swindlers, we have them all among us, but I believe more of us are decent, hardworking and upstanding members of society.

The Question

A reader, bifftastic, has left a question several weeks ago about this and I only now have a chance to answer it. (Thanks, bifftastic and sorry for the delay.) Bifftastic wants to understand more about the “sponsorship phenomenon” in the Thai female-farang male relationship, although this is not a problem for him personally. He asked:

I wanted to ask you about the issue of financial support.
There is much discussion about sending money (mainly amongst foreign men sending to Thai women). Some say they would never do it and seem happy that they have a relationship with someone who doesn’t ask for it or need it.

Others who are happy to help out where they can and still more who seem to send thousands and thousands of Baht every month and then complain that their partners are ‘moneygrabbers’

I know my girlfriends family all send their mum (she had 12 children in all) a little every month when they can, I send some to help supplement her income, sometimes adding a little for mum too.

She tells me of friends who have foreign partners that send anything up to 70,000 baht every month! How has this come about? Is it really a traditional thing for a man to give his wife or girlfriend money every month? Or are we all being tricked into a ‘rent-a-wife’ scheme?

I have to say it’s not really a problem for me, circumstances have led us to our present arrangement and everybody is much better off because of it. I just wondered if you could give your views on the whole ’sponsorship’ phenomenon.

My Answer

First of all, let me state the obvious which somehow does not seem obvious to many: not all Thai women are alike. There are all kinds of Thai women whose expectations in a relationship, financial or otherwise, can be different. Also, an average Thai woman isn’t so different from women elsewhere when it comes to basic expectations in a relationship: affection, love, security, status, etc., and different women have different focuses: many are materialistic while others care more about the emotional side, and those who dare, want all.

Second, it’s probably fair to say that many (but not all) Thai women who gravitate towards foreign men may have a financial expectation in mind. This is likely the case, if they are poor, work in a bar, are in a low-paying job, and have a family to support. Some Thai women who are low- to mid-level white-collar workers and not poor by Thai standards may also expect financial support, if they seek a better lifestyle or have a financial (and/or moral) obligation to the family (many often do, especially if they are the only child or have few siblings). Professional and better off Thai women who are financially independent are much less likely to look for financial support from their partner, but they may have a lifestyle or other requirements that could be expensive that may become the partner’s shared burden in a committed relationship. These are likely patterns, not a sure thing. Some individual women may not conform to these general patterns due to personal values and worldview.

Third, if a woman expects financial support, how much is reasonable and how much is obscene? What’s the right amount, I think, should depend on the couple concerned to agree on really. A few thousand baht or tens of thousands of baht a month, or even hundreds of thousands of baht, gold, jewelries, a fancy condo and a car for her, a house and a pick-up for her family, etc. There is a very wide range of “support,” from meager to obscenely spoiling, and if a man hasn’t got his brains thoroughly laundered he should be able to figure out how much is reasonable and how much is unseemly. I appreciate that when a man hasn’t got a good cultural reference point, it can be a tough call.

A reasonable amount of support is not easy to determine and really not for the outsiders to say because outsiders can’t really know the relationship set-up and needs and expectations involved. There’s no one-size-fits-all formula because different relationships have different circumstances and expectations. Expectations in a love relationship, relationship of convenience and a mercantile companionship are different. In the case of many Thai-farang relationships, the man tends to be much older, often of retirement age, and the Thai wife/girlfriend a generation or two younger. There can be real love and affection in this type of relationship certainly, but the likelihood of it being a love match is probably not great. Often, I think, frustrations and resentments stem from mismatched expectations. Say, if a man of 65 years (who can’t pass himself off in the dark as 75-year-old Sean Connery) expects a woman of 25 to be with him just for his virility and sheer good looks, he’s bound to be disappointed, as is she. Or, if his 25 year-old Thai woman thinks she’s hit a two-legged jackpot and bottomless bank account who will set her and her family for life, then there’s bound to be a problem too, if he isn’t such a jackpot or is not willing to be one. But if both know and accept what the deal is, end of story at least as far as money is concerned. Usually in a love/affectionate relationship, the couple generally has sort of built-in consideration and understanding for one another. But in a more mercantile exchange or relationship of convenience, negotiation may be required to determine how much support each thinks is fair. Of course, not all Thai-farang relationships fit the winter-spring pattern (increasingly many don’t). In such cases, perhaps it’s helpful to look at the next point.

Fourth, is it normal or a traditional thing for a man to give his wife or girlfriend money every month? This is a good question. In Thai culture, among Thai-Thai couples some husbands do give part or all of their income to their wives to manage, and the wives give the husbands a stipend. This is an old set up when the wives were full-time homemakers. Nowadays, with both husband and wife commonly working full-time they likely put their respective income in the family account and draw from that for whatever expenses they agree on. Of course, different couples may have different financial arrangements. The husband may give the wife money for household expenses or spends most of it if he’s not responsible, or they keep separate accounts and decide on how to share the family expenses.

The situation is quite different in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. Thai boyfriends and girlfriends may help each other financially but the boyfriends aren’t likely to be expected to pay a monthly stipend to the girlfriends,  except in special circumstances and  unless it’s a sugar daddy or a kept woman situation. Or mia noi or kik situation. I don’t need to elaborate about the mia noi tradition in Thailand, except that there are many Thai women willingly or unwillingly finding themselves in a relationship with a polygamous Thai man. They may be in it for love or have been duped into it, and that’s a difficult situation. It should be noted that Thai minor wives aren’t always financially supported by their polygamous husbands, especially those who have successfully philandered despite lack of funds (but apparently having enough charms to work on at least a few women). But for many (young) mia nois or mistresses of wealthy men who have entered into the arrangement willingly, or who make a career of such an arrangement, they surely expect to be kept in a certain style: monthly salary, a condo, a car, gifts, special perks, etc. (Different mia nois may manage different returns depending on their charms, pedigree and business acumen, how smitten the sugar daddy is and how much he’s willing to pay in each case.)

So then, why many foreign partners find themselves being asked to support their Thai girlfriend or wife, and even her family? Are farang men disproportionately being asked to do so, or might some have unwittingly become sugar-daddies? I’m not really sure why and I can’t give a definite answer to the latter question. But there might be something to that. I think there are some Thai cultural and Thai-farang cross-cultural dimensions to these questions.

(a)   Thai cultural dimension 1 – I’ve talked about Thai women’s expectations of material/financial support from the man in the relationship with a couple of Thai girlfriends sometime ago and it seems that regardless of financial status, most Thai women still apparently expect to be “taken care of” by their partner (financially and otherwise). This is a cultural expectation that may not reflect reality, given the high percentage of Thai women who are income earners or even breadwinners of the family (and how often do Thai women complain that their husbands aren’t reliable, financially and otherwise). Simply put, Thai women have been raised to “expect” a man to take care of them. Whether or not this is realized is another matter but that expectation, that wish, is there.

(b)  Thai cultural dimension 2 – Many traditional Thai women still hold this old idea that  a life of leisure is a symbol of success. Though I can’t really give any percentage estimate since there hasn’t been any poll done that I know of, I guess this attitude is probably more prevalent among less educated women from a rural background who likely espouse traditional ideas and women who have had to toil their labor for little money, for whom marrying a rich man who can afford them a life of leisure would be a great success. This certainly is not a modern notion of life partnership that exists in the West and among many modern Thais, in which each in the partnership is implicitly expected to pull his/her own weight. For those women who may espouse this old notion, their not working and being reliant on the man is hence (I’m conjecturing here) not anything to be ashamed of (if not to boast about) because to them a woman is supposed to be taken care of by her man, and a “good husband/boyfriend” should take care of her family too. But then there are some women even with a university degree who are simply not into carrying their own weight as it were, who espouse not any ideas traditional or otherwise, except the idea of living a high life without having to work for it outside of the bedroom.

(c)   Thai-farang dimension 1 – A Thai woman might be into carrying her own weight if she’s in a relationship with a Thai man, but the same Thai woman might suddenly espouse the old idea mentioned above when she’s in a relationship with a farang. Is this a possible scenario? I believe so. If so, why then? I’m not sure but I don’t think it should be ruled out too quickly that such a woman might be in the relationship with a farang man just for the money and lifestyle. Though that may be the case, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care for him at all. I suspect this might have something to do with “adjusted expectations”, you know, like the two-tiered pricing – a farang partner is “richer,” so he can be expected to lift not only his own weight but her weight and her family’s too, while the poor Thai man, well, he’s poor and you can’t expect much from a Thai man anyway. I have no evidence of this, but as someone accused me once, I was probably trying to get inside of the poorer women’s heads. I could be totally wrong. If you think so, just tell me or even flame me.

Bifftastic also opined:

From a cultural point of view I can see why some western people would regard this kind of arrangement as …hmmm not sure quite how to phrase this…maybe a little sordid?

Realistically it’s no different to what goes on in many relationships, splitting the bills, arranging the finances, is all pretty normal but it seems to be a lot more emotive when it’s a Thai-Farang relationship for some reason.

I think you made a very good observation, bifftastic. It is an emotive issue indeed. In fact I’ve found it is especially emotive if an educated Thai woman has anything to say about the Thai-farang relationship or about the poorer Thai women. Some farang men seem jealously protective of poor Thai women (a sentiment I actually understand and appreciate since I also feel the same way towards the disadvantaged and downtrodden). But what puzzles me sometimes is the level of contempt for non-poor, educated Thai women among certain group of farang men.

Off topic a bit. Back to the “sordid” comment. I think, sordid or not, one should also remember that not very long ago  western gentlemen were expected to find a bride with a good-sized dowry. It’s not so very different here for many Thai women who buy into the old notion of marriage for material gain. It may appear sordid because it’s out of time, like the old idea of keeping women barefoot in the kitchen sounds sordid today. So it is in a way not just an East vs. West cultural clash but also a time clash between people (Thai or foreign) living in different times.

From the point of view of a working Thai woman who carries her own weight, this sponsorship thing sometimes feels a bit sordid too, especially if it involves a woman who is a disloyal spendthrift. I cannot imagine myself living leisurely expecting my husband to pick up all the tabs – that would be distasteful to me as I feel it’s unfair to my husband. But then I don’t share the old notion and prefer equal partnership. But equal partnership is not everyone’s cup of tea. I drink and enjoy my own tea, but others may want coffee or ice cream.

It all comes down to expectations and willingness, I believe. A man has a prerogative to be with the woman of his choice. If a farang man finds this sort of financial support “sordid,” then don’t get into such a relationship, and find a woman who won’t expect anything sordid. But if he knowingly gets into such a relationship, then, either negotiate the support to an acceptable level or if he can’t for whatever reason and decides to live with it then don’t whine about it. Everybody has a choice. We don’t always get what we want and who says life’s fair?

(d) Thai-farang dimension 2 – A look at recent history of Thai-farang relationship may also shed some light. I wrote about the evolution of Thai-farang relationship in three phases: “rental wife”, “farang son-in-law” and “post-rental wife” phases, here.

I have also made “A Rough Guide for Finding the Right Thai Woman for Western Men” in which Thai women are divided into 5 major groups. I’ve put them in a matrix with expectations and considerations for each group that foreign men, especially those with limited exposure to Thai culture and society, maybe even the old hands, might find useful. I attach the matrix here, but for more detailed explanation about it, go to the original article.

UPDATE (11 May 2010):  Somebody (desi – Thanks) started a discussion thread based on this article on Thaivisa forum, and discussion is going on there as well.

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Posted in Ask Kaewmala, Thai Women, Thai-Foreign Relationship, love & relationship

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